How To Be A Girl (When You're Just Not 'Girly' Enough)

Today's day and age, there are more make-up tutorials than you can count, alongside 13 year old girls doing their highlight and contour better than the Kardashians.

So where does that leave you, you're wondering? I'm gonna say somewhere between "holy shit Kylie Jenner is hot," and "how the fuck does she get it all to stay on?!"

Yup, that's me. Continuously wondering how it's even physically possible to walk out of the house looking like a goddess and not melt off my right cheekbone. UGH WHY ME?!

If you're anything like me, you'll go to Walgreens and walk past all of the pretty nail polishes that are on sale and think, 'I'm gonna paint my nails tonight and save some money.'

Once you've already spent an hour an a half choosing which perfect color is going to (may or may not) match your 'wanna be' girl toes, the thought has subsided that the last 17 million times you tried this - it was a complete and utter fail.

Not to mention, not only did you spend almost two hours picking a color, but now you're going to spend 6 more desperately trying to figure out how to paint, let dry, decorate, not smudge and use your left hand like the YouTube tutorials taught you.

Who makes these damn tutorials anyways?! I'm absolutely confused on how the lighting is always so damn good, the cut crease comes out amazing on the first try, and they always got that perfect 'speed up, slow down' motion, all on a home video!?

Let's face it, it's a conspiracy. CUT CREASES ARE JUST NOT REAL, OK. Ok, they totally are a real thing, however, they are unfortunately non-existent in my life.

I mean, I don't know about you, but every time I end up trying to sit down to paint my nails or toe nails, it always ends in a fit of rage and me throwing everything including my fingernails against the wall (true story). Then all of the times that I try a 'cut crease,' it looks like a blob of blobbiness (I made that up because now I'm angrryyy) and it looks like I got punched in the eye. Hmph.

So, how, for God's sake, do you get good at being a girl? I mean, when your gay male co-worker looks more fierce than you on your BEST day, somethings got to be wrong, right? Wrong honey. He IS fucking fierce, and so are you!!

I'm here to remind you, you're human.

And just because society has correlated "pretty-painted toes and fierce contour" with being girly, doesn't make you not girly enough. It's unfortunate that us as womxn - and even others who identify as womxn - feel that if we aren't "well put together" on the outside, then it means we're not woman enough.

Bullshit. Chipped nail polish AND all... YOU'RE FABULOUS (my nail polish is literally chipped right now - no fucks given).

And sometimes us humans need reminding of this. You are a woman, you have flaws, and if you didn't have any flaws....then I'm pretty sure you'd either be a fucking Robot or Kanye West, and you my dear, are neither (sorry).

I also want to give you the secret to being the woman that YOU were intended to be, and if painting your nails just isn't your forte... then guess what honey, don't paint your fucking nails.

The truth is, you're going to get your period - and feel shitty, bloated, ugly, and just plain UGH. You're going to be moody sometimes. You're hair isn't always going to come out perfect, and your lips aren't always going to look like the new Kylie Jenner.

AND THAT'S TOTALLY FINE.

Trust me darling, there are people that would kill to be in your nikes. Don't fret the small stuff, it's okay to splurge on yourself and pay someone to paint your nails, and shaving your legs everyday isn't a necessity (so fuck off boys).

Take walks with no make-up on - or go full face with it - do whatever the hell it is that pleases YOU. Fall in love with the real you again, you're a REAL woman, embrace it!

How have you embraced your natural Womxn-ness? Let me know in the comments!